| So... I really am a retard. :P |
[Dec. 7th, 2008|09:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sexy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Random things in my head | ] |
My hand just fell asleep now so it's pretty hard to type. Oh, awesome. It just woke up.
So, I realize now, after reading my entries from before that I sound like a total RETARD moron. Yeah, but you know. It's also kind of endearing.
Ha ha.
I was directed here because on some website some person said I could download episodes 4 - 16 or whatever of Renai Shindan, which is a J-drama that has *BL* and *GL* in it. I am excited to watch. I found a site where I could see like four of the episodes but downloading isn't an option. Damn. Oh well. I'll just watch online. It's just that it's not available on crunchyroll.com, so I'm like DUH where can I watch it?
:P
I chewed my mum's ear off about Death Note today. :P Ha ha. She was like rolling her eyes and stuff, but honestly it all really means a lot to me. It's hard to explain, but it's not just drawings that move to me. It's so much more. You know, anime and games and stuff. It's basically people trying to make me happy. You know?
I get upset when I think people think of me as a nerd or a loser becuase I love that stuff. I'm childish to them or something. It shouldn't matter, but really, it kind of does to me. Sigh. I can understand their side of it. Grr. it's been hard for me to connect with people on an interest level recently.
I really need to start meditating and doing yoga and exercising (again). XD Ha ha. Honestly, how many times have I started exercising only to stop after a week or two or a couple days? :P I'm glad because each time I do it, I do it for a longer time. Eventually, I'll be doing it as second nature every day! I just gotta keep it up. As for yoga and meditation, well... I will try to do that more.
I think about the past a lot... when I have time. -_- And, I realize that I often gave advice to people as if I were some kind of wise sage or something, but I never really acted on it myself. I understand now.
Let's leave the major shit stuff to the gods and my dear angels. Thank you for watching me and helping me. : )
I'm excited for many things. : )
Good night. : )
(I'm not sleeping yet, but I won't be on here again today so... : P) |
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| Looking for someone |
[May. 15th, 2008|06:56 pm] |
Hi. I'm here instead of saving my school life. Hee hee. Um, I'm looking for someone but ha ha. I can't seem to get ahold of them. Ha ha. Okay. So, blah.
Friends rock? :D |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2007|08:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Not in a good way, dammit. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Destroyed by Within Temptation and Et Misericordia by Paul Schwartz | ] |
I hate this. I'm posting here because not many will read it.
I hate my life. I hate it. I try so hard, and yet...
Dammit. Why can't I just change things.
No one listens to me. They always want to talk. I don't want this anymore. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone!
I will succeed, but I will still always be in pain. No matter how hard I try. I hate them, I hate me, I hate everything. I just love life, that's it. I'm sorry.
Stop blaming me, and can't you just tell me what I did wrong?
I've always been someone unworthy of being in the company of.
Some women/girl called me cute today. In Japanese. I think they did. I'm 98% sure. Maybe it's keeping me up, man. Seriously.
I'm sorry. I'm going to clean/do homework now.
I hate everything.... go AWAY!
PS: I'm really optimistic but I just need to vent somewhere. DAMMIT! |
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| Livejournal is boring |
[Sep. 7th, 2007|12:25 am] |
| [ | music |
| | "Sphere" by Tatsh | ] |
I like Deviant art better. I also love the song "sphere" by Tatsh (sp?)
Okay, gotta go. BAI. |
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| Uh... erm? XD |
[Sep. 4th, 2007|09:17 pm] |
O.o I am so confused. It's been... like, a century or three since I've been here. I have no clue... what's going on.
I just finished my 150 word essay for Philosophy. Yay. *clap clap* Just over 200 words... -_- I write too much, but I don't know if what i said was okay...
In college now. Woot. Erm... yeah. dklajfdkl;afjd;a
XD Got some nice doujinshi from ebay.
Okay, so bye. |
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| Praaaaaaaaabbbbbrjkl;djka;fid |
[Mar. 26th, 2006|07:39 am] |
My subject makes so much sense. Mwah. ^_^
So, y'all. How are ya? Hmm... Well, I realized as I was reading through my journal how negative I sound. I no like that, so from now on I'm a gonna work on being more positive.
I've been studying a bit of palmistry lately. I found out some things about myself that make me happy, and I found out other things that didn't, but that's life. I love you! Erm...
So, Hola did this "fish" thing again where he turns his head all the way to the side just to look at me (he was walking in front of me). What a weirdo. Too bad I'm infatuated with the bastard. ^_^
So I made a really funny joke (well, it's really funny to me) in a text message to my friend Mango (Yessy):
She said: Hey, I gotta tell you something! (Not exact message)
I replied: I have to tell you something too! Cool, that must mean we know each other! *snort* (laughs head off)
Wow... that is so not funny when I put it here. (laughs)
Ah... I was reading Mars Volume 7 yesterday. Goddess, that manga is so depressing. I swear I'm just sitting there reading it and all of my hope in the lives of the characters just disappears in moments. Not only do they put women down, but the sexy male main character's brother committed suicide, the cute female main character was raped by her stepfather and now has to live with him, and she was also almost murdered. They have beautiful drawings, but Goddess I swear I wish it weren't so sad. I used to be depressed and it's not a good feeling. I love to be happy with life now and reading stuff like that and teenage angsty-ness just ruins everything.
I can't believe I shared the d-thing with you guys... I really don't want to and I want to forget about it.
I feel ugly. I'm probably not, but I feel ugly and fat. I am a little overweight but... I know that I'm beautiful. I AM PRETTY. *BAAAAAAAAAH* O.o SheeP?
Erm... I'm so silly and I love it. It's strange but even thought I seem like a not so serious person and not so hard working, I have a loop of serious intent on each hand, which is an indicator of a hard worker who will have to work hard in life but will succeed as a result of that. I thought I would have a loop of humour at least. (PALMISTRY TALK) Sorry if you don't get it.
I don't know what else to say. Yesterday I met one of my spirit guides. She said this to me and I thought she was telling me her name: "Aa... Wa..." I came up with Amily Wagner and thought that her name was Emily Wagner, though I wasn't too sure. Then suddenly my eyes opened and the phone rang... it was my friend *A*lex *Wa*... (I don't know how to spell or pronounce her last name but I wouldn't put her in that sort of danger anyway). O.o I realized that she was telline me who was calling rather than her name. I think I'm gonna go talk to her again and see if I can hang out with her more. ^_^ Normally, kids my age like to hang out with friends (which I of course love to do...) but some of us like spirit guides too. I have a friend who sees them all the time. It was she that told me that what I thought was a fox spirit guide was truly a fox spirit guide. So I have a fox and a woman from the twenties... COOL! ^_^
Okay, I shall depart now, my friends. I love you all! Whoever or whatever you are! ^_^
Love,
S. Strawberry |
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| Mwah! I finally got it! ^____^ |
[Mar. 20th, 2006|12:27 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | what the hell is a tag? | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | Holla! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Geki! Teikoku Kagekidan (Sakura Wars); S, Moon Transformtins | ] |
Yeah, so I'm so excited because I finally got the Sakura Wars theme song that I wanted. I wanted the version with the low guy/guy-like (you can never tell...) voice. I love that version and... I GOT IT! *Jumps up and down*
Well, it's *laugh* 12:28 AM. AM. I swear I am so... *grrr* I need more sleep and look what I'm doing to myself.
On the bright side, I got some songs that I have been dying to hear on my iPod for so long! They are mine now! I am so happy! YAAY!
Well, I should go and finish my homework and shower. (When haven't I said this already)
Wish me luck with Hola Stupido tomorrow. ^/./^ Mwah.
Love y'all!
Love,
S. Strawberry |
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| Whee! |
[Mar. 15th, 2006|12:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Pshh... Sigh... Aahh... Whatev | ] |
| [ | music |
| | For Today by Butterfly Messiah, Way To Mandalay by Blkm's Nt | ] |
Yay! I got my dear best friend Nathalie's Live Journal thingy! I'm very happy! ^_^
So, what? It's nearly 12:30 in the morning and I have not even TOUCHED my homework. Congratulate me all. *everyone claps and whoos*
Well, actually no. I did do SOME stuff, but barely anything worthy of bragging about. (Who the hell brags about their homework anyway?)
So, my romantic escapade is getting more and more exciting every day. Yesterday he talked to me, and today we looked - no - gazed at each other in the hallway. It wasn't like before. It made me so happy. Gosh, maybe he really does like me! ^_^ Coolio!
Ow, my hands are so dry. They hurt... and they're bleeding. Stupid cold weather...
So, the other day I took my eyeshadow (that I never wear because I don't wear makeup), not the powdery kind, but the other... kind (?) and made dots all over my left arm. It was out of sheer boredom. Duh. So, the next day, they were still there, because I did it AFTER I took a shower and I really didn't care. I mean, they weren't humongous, and they weren't blue or green so it was all good. I was at my locker when I decided to tell my friend Yessy about it, you know, to make her laugh at my craziness. Well, so I got started telling her, but I noticed she wasn't laughing. She made a face that so resembled my mother's when she was suspicious of me I thought I was going to kill her. I swear I got so enraged at the look she gave me. Not only was it confusing because it didn't make any sense, but I hate when people doubt me. To top it off, she looked just like my mother and I swear I could've become a murderer if I didn't stop myself. Anyway, I was like "Why are you looking at me like that? It's just eyeshadow." (Ugh. Punctuation/grammar.) After a few minutes of that stupid face of suspicion and explaining she finally got the fact that it was eyeshadow and that I wasn't cutting myself. She was like "Oh, I thought you said you cut yourself or something." . -_-' What a loser. I swear she never listens to a word I say but like Nachi her majesty says: it's not all about me. Damn, those words like so many others are still haunting me.
I'm so cold right now. *Sigh* It feels good to vent. ^_^ I wish that I could do it more and express all my anger. I want to be freed of my anger and self-doubt (both which I have plenty of; if anybody wants some, feel free to let me know) for ever, until the last aeon diminishes life in mere moments.
I feel so stupid sometimes. I know that each person has a purpose, and maybe mine is to do something non-physics or whatever related. I was actually thinking this the other day. I thought that maybe the universe wants me to do bad in class now so that I don't accidently take the path of a scientist when I am meant to become something else. My fate line is rather strong. Also, I know that I could probably do well, though I pay attention I don't understand anything. Sometimes I read the same lines over and over and I don't absorb a thing. Why? It's not the level of my intelligence. I know that my intelligence is very high, but it is the lack of sleep, self-care, self-confidence, fear, and among other things, perhaps the universe's wish. I am not meant to become rich in scientific terms, but why is it that other people are smart in it even though they don't become historians or physicists anyway? I think that that is because they know that they won't become those things. I don't so... the universe does what is best for us.
(Some of) My favorite sayings, mottos, whatever:
Live and let live.
There is nothing in life that is worth taking seriously. Enjoy. ^_^
Perfection lies in imperfection. (By yours truly ^___^)
Umm... is there more to say? Hell yeah! HELL ON HEELS! ^_^ I really wanted that shirt but damn it I don't wear heels.
For Today lyrics:
For Today
And today I died to find myself quite alive
And today, there's nothing like the bliss I feel inside
And today, I laugh to see the patterns in the waves
And so, the patterns in the sand look quite the same
Seems to be
Underneath the center of the sea
Seems likely
It lives within discovery
In trying
To pull apart this symphony
I fall as
It drifts away a part of me
And today, even when summer's at her end
And when, the sky falls silent even as the land
I'll still the center of my soul from birth to death
And vow, my days were never ever left unlived
Aah... ^_^ whatta song. ^_^ Je t'aime, chanson et chanteur. Elle est belle, mais elle est une fille. C'est une petite probleme, non? Ah oui, tu as les cheveux! Whatever. Okay, back to anglais, s'il vous plait. See how I mix my 'tu' and 'vous' when addressing 'you'. Um I have a whole shiatload more to say, but I don't remember any of it and I'm sleepy. Gotta go straighten my hair and do my homework. You wonder why I never give up? Giving up isn't my style, sorry. ^ ^' Erm... I hope it doesn't rain, cuz for some reason it always rains when I straighten my hair. It's pretty funny actually.
THE UNIVERSE HAS A PURPOSE FOR EVERYTHING!
Love,
S. Strawberry |
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| woolahwouldagrf |
[Mar. 12th, 2006|02:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | SIGH ^_^ | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Broken by Seether and Amy Lee; My Lovely Horse by Father Ted | ] |
So here I am on a Sunday with no car. Just grand. Ah well. I didn't want to go to dance class anyway.
So I got this book from the library called "Pagan Anger Magic". It's really good! It's just what I need! ^_^ *cries with happiness* SIGH...
I have been feeling kinda down lately. I don't know why. I just wanna be free and have fun and not go to school. I just wanna be jfkd;ajfkds; <-- See? I don't even know.
Erm... we got a humidifier. It was awesome. It kept making me cough and stuff. ^_^ I'm so happy. *dances*
I don't have a picture to put of myself up here. I don't know if I want to... Hmm...
Ahh! I opened the window in my room. It's so nice out! ^_^ I'm so happy. Mmm... La la la.
Hola paid more attention to me on Friday and he ignored me. Me = confused. ^.^' Men... sigh.
I am me. Okay. I guess I'll see y'all later. (I gotta get some livejournal friends...)
Love,
S. Strawberry a.k.a. Fabio |
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| Sigh |
[Mar. 4th, 2006|04:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Blah/Hungry | ] |
Hello everyone! ^_^ I'm at my cousin's house and I feel pretty relaxed. I have homework to do, but I haven't done it yet. I'm not really worried or anything. I have to find some livejournal friends! AARGH! I'm kinda upset (not that much though...) that Neil hasn't replied to my email. But I realize now that I kind of seem like a stalker. O.o Wow.
I need to work on my fanfiction. I haven't for so long. I wonder if anyone will even read it. -_- *sad face*
So I saw a REAL LIVE VAMPIRE the other day, at least I think so, and I'm really happy about it. ^_^ I really don't have much else to say. Okay, so see ya!
Love,
S. Strawberry |
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| Hello y'all. |
[Feb. 26th, 2006|12:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
So I'm in an irritated mood. I don't wanna go to my dance class. I really don't wanna do my homework and I wanna brush my teeth. On top of it all, it's Sunday. School starts again tomorrow. Seriously though, I just wanna have fun. Argh. By the way, I still love Neil. I wanna marry him. ^_^
My spiritual studies have ONCE AGAIN *grinds teeth* come to a pause because of my other worldly duties. I am so ANGRY/ENRAGED/PISSED. Whatever.
I hate how hypocritical people can be but you know what I have nothing else to say. Enjoy ice cream everyone/minna. See ya.
Love,
S. Strawberry |
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| Meh, seriously! |
[Feb. 20th, 2006|08:48 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Waah! | ] |
Recently I've been watching a lot of Neil Cicierga's videos. I love you Neil! ^_^ *Ahem* If you don't know him go here: www.eviltrailmix.com! He is also really well known for the Potter Puppet Pals (www.potterpuppetpals.com) Go there! You will love it! If not, well, whatever. Anyway...
So it's Monday, the last day of my three day weekend. I have to take a shower and do my homework (why do I always leave it to the last minute?) and be ready by ten because my friend L. Lime is coming over and then at eleven my friend Alex is coming to take Lime, my cousin, and me to a restaurant. Aaagh! The pressure! I also have chores that my mom gave me this morning, though surprisingly I can only remember one of them. Alas, I too, at the age of sixteen, am getting old. Whoops I let my age slip there. Damn. That sucks for me. Ah well. As long as I have a protective aura. (Does the Tower of Light according to Llellwyn's "Psychic Self Defense" by (I forgot).
And if you're wondering, I did not really do the Tower of Light just now. Oh poo.
Does anyone else have a deep set like/hate relationship with Physics? I know I do.
Peace out y'all. What up? Oh wait you're supposed to ask that before you begin talking. Oh well. Meh.
Love,
S. Strawberry Fabio |
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